I did cry yesterday; about me, about you, about us. I was exhausted with myself because of the tiring activity that I had. Then, I told you about my day. As usual, because you asked that.
However, I knew I hurt your feeling by uploading that K-pop guy. I found it funny, but I assure you you're the one I love. He meant nothing to me if I compare him to you. And ... you did feel hurt. No matter all the excuses and reasons I gave. So, you tried to hurt me back as if you were trying to heal yourself.
So, you hurt me to feel better.
I understood that you wanted to show your jealousy, but I just can't accept that you brought "her" into our conversation. You think I'd feel what you felt by bringing up the main reason why I cried back then.
You do know I don't like being the second choice. Then, how come you said you like her in front of me? Is this how you deal with problems?
Well, congrats! You succeed. You hurt me back.
My heart broke into pieces. I can't stop my self crying. Your words weren't just empty jokes and sarcasm. But a key to my locked door of the deepest pain.
I can't explain clearly how I hated myself back then and how hard I tried to love myself. I tried to prove that I was worthy enough. Then, you're just there, always trying to hurt me.
But, you said you love me. Is hurting me the same as loving me? No, right? Then why do I get hurt even more when we are together? If by loving me you also have to hurt me, would you please stop loving me? So, I won't get hurt again.